Tonight, on True Life: I Have a Sad Life, we will dive deeper into the sad lives of the following people:
MTV “News” reporters
People who listen to the Dixie Chicks
All MTV VJ’s
Kristin Cavallari
People whose memoirs can be written in 1-2 sentences on AIM
People who listen to Cutting Crew’s “(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight” without headphones when other people are around My roommate
People who take Student Government seriously
That emo kid in your class that talks too much
Out-of-towners who move to Austin and wonder why Austinites are mean to them
People who still watch LOST
People who ever watched LOST
The TA on a powertrip
Later on, we will also be featuring the slightly less sad lives of:
Alicia Keys (a.k.a. the star of the new “micro” series, Fresh Takes, airing during commercial breaks of The Hills)
America’s Next Top Model winners (name two)
People who think Carlos Mencia is funny
Professors who don’t cancel class on Fridays before holiday weekends
