So, the time has come in my life to test my college environment. That’s right, folks, a good old-fashioned social experiment. With the help of a former sorority member (is there a proper term for this? pledge? sister?), I obtained multiple t-shirts to put the experiment into action.
Let me note that a vast majority of sorority shirts are offensive to anyone and everyone who should happen to be walking in sight range of the person wearing the shirt. Of the shirts I obtained, two were especially tacky. One read “If you’re a XXX raise your hand, if not, raise your standards.” XXX, in this case, is obviously meant to symbolize any and every sorority – this tagline is not specific and has been adopted by nearly every sorority in the universe because they are, obviously, classier than the next. Another shirt read “In life there are leaders and there are followers…Please note you are reading the back of my shirt.” Okay, I get that this is supposed to be silly but seriously, how tacky do we need to get on a t-shirt? So ummmmm, did you really just target me simply because I’m walking behind you on my way to class? I am a follower because of this? I’m sorry, what about the fact that you wear this shirt offending everyone around you just because your sorority president decided it was like, perfect, and everyone else in the sorority is wearing it too… is that not also being a follower? You don’t need to get all high and mighty on a t-shirt, man…pipe down.
Okay, back to the plot line. On Day 1 of this experiment, I sported a tee that simply read “<Insert irrelevant university here> XXX.” There was a star in there somewhere, for artistic merit. Let me take this moment to point out that, on the day I wore this shirt, I looked worse than normal. Minimal makeup, minimal effort in the hairstyling department, unimpressive jeans, New Balance sneakers worn out to the max, you get the idea here. Not to say that my normal routine involves a lot of vamping, but this day I was clearly slacking.
So I leave my dorm in the morning, interested to find out what I will discover. Blah, blah, I’m leaving my building and I run into a friend. I am IMMEDIATELY called out on my “letters!” That is how much I am an outsider of SororityWorld – I can’t even get away with wearing a t-shirt. So I tell her of my wondrous experiment, and continue on my way. Okay. Never have I EVER gotten so many double-takes from frat guys. Excuse me, Mr. Frat Guy, but is this shirt so powerful that it can overcome my complete disregard for my appearance today? I look WORSE than usual, yet you’re totally scopin’ me out. No wonder sorority girls go around 24/7 wearin’ their letters…ultimate confidence booster! For those of you not in sororities, I highly recommend gettin’ your hands on a shirt and wearing it every now and again…you shall not regret it.
On a similar note, I noticed some people discounting me immediately based on the shirt. After giving normal people the awkward half-smile, they would just ignore me. Or avert their eyes. Imagine. They are most likely former victims of the offensive sorority shirts running rampant around campus. Their past experiences with these shirts have not been good…I can’t say I blame them.
After the morning encounter of being called out on the shirt, I became paranoid the rest of the day that someone would see through me. “Oh, you’re a XXX? I just never saw you wearing letters before! Where? Oh, really? What chapter? Are you an XXX here? Oh really? Okay…” Such a confrontation played over and over in my head all day. I did not feel safe from judging eyes until I removed the shirt and replaced with a much more friendly tie-dye tee.
Conclusion: On Day 1, I discovered that your appearance is irrelevant when wearing a sorority shirt. Letters have superpowers.
If you’re interested, here is a crash course in how to identify someone’s sorority. ‘Cause I sure as hell have no clue.
